I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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