Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
