Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
