You work out of a Hotel?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
