I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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