sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
