weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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