the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
