in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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