ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
