If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
