Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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