I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
The best revenge is premature balding
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Randomize
