one might say we're banned from that church
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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