I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
