dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
