It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
