Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
