can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
