we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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