Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
