i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
