im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Randomize
