Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
