she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize