I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
