Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
