dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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