Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
