seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
