We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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