you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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