i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
