So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
