I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
