Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You are a genius and a whore.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
