Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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