Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Dignity is for republicans.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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