and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
