Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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