sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
