My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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