Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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