New invention idea: vibrating tampons
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
