its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
