I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
