I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she told me i tasted like america
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
