playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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