My liver just broke up with me...
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize