eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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