How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
