The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so explain again why im purple
no
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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