I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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