All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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