508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize