Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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