UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
