yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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