he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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